On Being Married For 45 Years

On July 4th, Mikki and I celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Way back in 1969, on a scorching hot Independence Day, we swore vows to each other. I was 17. She was still 16. But we knew what swearing to a vow meant. It was the way we were brought up.

I still remember our honeymoon night, if you want to call it that. We had no money, so the honeymoon consisted of our first night in a new apartment. New to us, that is. It was actually an $85 per month roach-infested dump, but we didn’t care.

We Were Young, And In Love

We were talking about our honeymoon as we sat in bed reading the other night. That first night was special, so special that we both remember it almost exactly the same way. A rare thing after so many years.

Then I started thinking about how different things are, comparing how we went to bed back then, versus now.

• Back then we couldn’t wait to touch each other, our bodies intertwined. Hot and sweaty in an apartment with no air conditioning.
  • Now we are normally propped up on pillows reading books on our iPads.
• Back then after being intertwined, we would turn off the lights and go to bed with our arms wrapped around each other.
  • Now the light on her iPad goes out long before mine, and we go to bed with a wall of pillows separating us, so our hot bodies don’t touch.
• Back then we looked at each other with lust in our eyes.
  • Now we look at each other with love.

But Is That So Bad?

I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that not only is it not bad, maybe it’s better. Neither one of us looks like we did back then. We definitely aren’t in the same shape physically. And we certainly don’t have the stamina we did on that night so many years ago.

But We Have Memories

And I believe it’s the memories that get us through the tough times. Memories are hard to compete with. They can be good or bad. For me, the memories are fantastic. I don’t mean that I see her in the same way as I did when we were teenagers.

• But I’ll catch a glint in her eyes that makes me recall a particular incident, and that brings a smile.
• Or I’ll hear her laugh, and remember a day when we hooked school and went to Philly. Back then all days were filled with laughter.
• Or I’ll hear her cry when one of our animals die, and I’ll wish for the days when there was nothing to cry about.

Bottom Line

Regardless of how tough things are, or how tough the road ahead looks, we’re fortunate because we have those memories. And when times get the worst, we can always turn off our iPads, toss the pillows off the bed, and relive a few memories.

Happy anniversary, Babe

Ti amo con tutto il mio cuore.

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Giacomo Giammatteo is the author of gritty crime dramas about murder, mystery, and family. And he also writes non-fiction books including the No Mistakes Careers series.

He lives in Texas where he and his wife have an animal sanctuary with 45 loving “friends.”

Filed under: Family, Life Lessons, marriage by Giacomo